[She stared at the message for a little while- that was certainly a question, wasn't it?
...Was she disappointed in herself?]
i dont feel remorse i dont regret my crimes
[But that wasn't what he asked, was it? That was avoiding the question. And the more she thought on it, the more her mind tried to push the answer under the rug.]
thats i dont know
i didnt want
[...Medea let those sentence fragments hang in the void. Even she wasn't sure what the finished ones would look like.]
I think you need to do what makes you happy first.
I think happiness creates peace. And that's not just because I'm known as a god of peaceful sleep. That's because I've found that people make the best choices when the goal isn't just survival, but goodness.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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If I were home, I could show you - in a dream - what it would be like.
But that's not really an option here.
Do you find you like the new and different life you imagine?
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i appreciate that
[It still meant something to her, that a God was telling her she shouldn't feel bad for her choices.]
a dream hm
i think
i find i cant recognise the me in those visions anymore
so thats a little hard to say
part of me wants to warn her what will become of her
part of me wants to curse her ignorance
i dont know
i think about the life i could have lead had i won the holy grail war too
but that
that hurts a little too much now
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And yet you can't do a thing about it.
But you seem to have made the best of who you are now.
Are you disappointed in who you are now?
Not the past you - is the current you disappointed?
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...Was she disappointed in herself?]
i dont feel remorse
i dont regret my crimes
[But that wasn't what he asked, was it? That was avoiding the question. And the more she thought on it, the more her mind tried to push the answer under the rug.]
thats
i dont know
i didnt want
[...Medea let those sentence fragments hang in the void. Even she wasn't sure what the finished ones would look like.]
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but ive kept myself alive
i have family
allies
friends
i dont know if that is something i deserve
but i wonder if my dreams would still trouble me that way if i didnt have regrets
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trying to hold on to what happiness ive been able to find
fighting manipulation bloodshed
it feels as if thats all my life has been for a long time now
what do you think i should do
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I think happiness creates peace. And that's not just because I'm known as a god of peaceful sleep. That's because I've found that people make the best choices when the goal isn't just survival, but goodness.
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before everything
i was trying to do better here
to be better
i owed it to a friend of mine i met not long after i arrived
ill
try to keep trying
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